Home is where the heart is? I think not...

I'm so far past the point of exhaustion. I have no idea how I'm able to keep my eyes open right now let alone write anything. I'll try to remain coherent here, just bear with me. It's a blessing to have had Emma and Aiden here. No matter how crappy I've felt or how tired I am, I'm going to miss them so much when they leave. I just wish I had some of the energy that they do! I'm amazed at how children never seem to get tired. It's amusing to me that as children, we dread having to take naps or going to bed, yet as an adult, we'll find any excuse we can to go to sleep. With the exception of my mother's horrid attitude, it's been really fun being mommy again in person rather than over the phone. I hope that with the friendship between Micah and me getting better, I'll be able to see them more often.

I had another day in court today and I'm happy to report that all is well. Brian has not been successful in trying to have Jude removed from my custody and he's not willing to show up for any court dates to continue to try and do so. He's the biggest idiot I've ever known... and I've known plenty! I don't understand why he's so determined to make sure that I live a life of suffering. If he and his family really care that little about me and what I do, wouldn't it make more sense to just leave me and my family alone? I don't understand why, if he cares so little, he can't just stay away from the child that he never wanted. Some things will never make sense I suppose.

All of the court stuff should be over soon and really, in my eyes, it already is. I can take Jude anywhere I would like now and I can also move out of here and take him with me. That's such an awesome feeling! It's been a long time since I've been able to do that. With Jack, he lived with me, I took care of him, but when shit went down with Brian, Jack's negligent grandfather (Brian's dad) has done everything in his power to make sure that I have no contact with MY son. I'm amazed at how callous that family is. Someday, everything will be ok, and I'll be with Jack again, but for now, I just have to focus on getting my life in order for my kids.