Frick!

I've entered a new stage of this process and nobody told me that this would happen. I should have assumed that someday I would begin to date again and that it would scare the hell out of me. Just the thought of going out with someone that I barely know is terrifying. What if I fall in love with someone else and they end up being another Jeckle and Hyde? How will I know if someone is going to change their personality in a split second and I'm about to end up dead? I never thought of this part.

Travis didn't scare me, I knew him and I would have been forewarned if there was something that I should be alarmed about. He's never coming back, I give up on that. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life, but I'm afraid that this will really hold me back. I have too much to lose and I will NEVER introduce another man into the life of any of my kids unless I am 100 percent certain that, A. they won't ditch us (like most tend to do) and B. they're not going to hurt us in any way. How do I learn to trust again? I was always the person that trusted until I was given a reason not to and now, I've been burned so many times that I trust nothing. Thanks Brian, really, for everything you've done to completely brain wash and mind fuck me. I hope you get yours one day!